To be nostalgic, or not to be?

I just sent off an email containing our 'Moving' ad for the next Only Ads (a targeted ad magazine that goes out to our customer base bi-monthly.) This is it baby. No turning back now. It has the day we are closing (oh, excuse me, moving online) with all the details.

I'd kind of like to allow myself to be nostalgic about our run in the past three and a half years of being open, or all that time and preparation before we opened. But what is the point. We are closing our storefront, yes. But not our business. The economy is bad, yes. But we have found a way to keep ourselves alive in this market. So screw nostalgia, bring on the new challenges!

New Year

Party in T-Minus 2 days, 22 hours. I'm excited.

On the crafty front, I finished the fuchsia beret I'd been crocheting. It's got the 'bumbuls' all over, and it's slouchy and cool. I'm pretty happy with it. It doesn't completely fold in like most berets, so it is just different enough looking to make me happy.

I also just ordered some VersaCraft stamp pads that can be used on wood and fabric as long as it is heat set. I already have my handy-dandy embossing tool that heat sets. I cannot wait to stamp some t-shirts! I also want Megan to show me how to felt a hat after I've made it, and then I want to stamp it. I have some pretty awesome stamps I've been itching to use. I ordered Black, and White for now. If I really like them, I'll order more colors.

I'm working on a new hat now. It is a medium worsted variegated 100% acrylic yarn by TLC Essentials. The color is 2980 Surf & Turf. I think it is going to just be a simple SC with the 3 circle embellishment.

Snow Moats

I have a gripe.

What is with the gigantic piles of snow that the plows leave by the side of the road after it snows? I am a short person with short legs. Also, I wear skirts which makes the whole process that much more complicated. Unless you are crossing the street by a light, you are stuck climbing over a huge pile of snow. I don't appreciate getting a crotch full of dirty snow.

That is all.

Productive

I've been pretty productive in the last few days. I finished two hats that I feel really good about. Sometimes I'll get a hat mostly finished and then lack the motivation to get it all done. You know, I'll have strings hanging, and whatever extra embellishment I make won't be sewn on. But lately I've been pretty much kicking ass and taking names. Now I just need to take pictures of them and we will be all good. It is too bad flower pins aren't in anymore because I rock at crocheting fantastical flowers with neat embellishments. I could pump out like 20 a day.

Things are good on the band front. Everyone meshes well. I'm pretty much platonicly in love with everyone. Our drummer Troy has a great sense of humor, and a great laugh. Karla is a bad ass little chick, she just doesn't know it. Which I love about her. She is so sweet and has a good heart. Kit (aka Panda) is a really good hostess. Whenever we practice at her house she is making us food and drinks and she is so nice about it. And she is our little energetic bunny. I'm not sure if Danny is a full member of the band, but he's been around lately, and he seems pretty awesome too. Adam is my favorite aside from Keith. He is just a good guy and I have a lot of fun when he is around. And we are both red heads so I have to love him. And then there is Keith, who I've been friends with for over ten years now. Obviously I think he is awesome, and he makes me feel special all the time.
We have a few shows coming up in January and I'm so excited!

It occurred to me today that I've been replacing my want to have a kid with time consuming things. I'm on this medication that you aren't supposed to get pregnant on. And anyhow, I know there is never a perfect time to have a baby, but financially we are sucking right now and having a baby would push us way past our limit. So instead of letting myself get depressed about that, I'm starting all these projects to fill my time. I've got this TGON thing with Megan, which I'll talk more about in a few weeks when she gets back form her trip. And I have the band. Two things that have the potential to be very time consuming.

Of course in true me fashion I'm not just filling my time with stuff. I've got such a horribly addictive personality, and I need to be doing something somewhat destructive all the time. Or if it isn't destructive, than it is to an excess. I'll do that with exercise for example. And other stuff I'm not going to go into right now. And lately I've totally been eating. God help me I'm going to pop out of my clothes eventually. Honestly, I would just start smoking again but it aggravates my asthma, and Keith is having me do backup vocals, and I already don't have a stellar voice.

I thought there was a gas station on this corner?

This is the ultimate in graffiti knitting.

Why are you plaguing me??

Another thing I hate is when customers act like you should be licking their feet because they are spending $30 at your store.

If you feel the need to repeat how you are going to do me the favor of giving me a sale, I might feel the need to repeatedly cram a rusty pipe up your butt. I'm just saying. It is incredibly demeaning.

Oh and earlier a kid broke a pair of earrings and his mom was less than happy about paying for them. She also showed such amazing discipline by telling her son, "It is my fault you did that." In a sweet as nails voice. Way to go lady! You son is totally going to grow into a self serving righteous a-hole who thinks he can do no wrong.

Adventures in Selling

Yay for customers who repeat the same question over and over and over.

I just sold a pin to a lady. She is lucky she bought it or I might have shoved it up her ass. The pin was a really pretty art nouveau style with clear and dark gray Austrian crystals. It was priced at $9.50. Not bank breaker by any means. My customer liked the pin, but she doesn't like buying things unless they look real. If this pin was real, it would have cost at least $250000.00, and would have been made from white and smokey gray diamonds, and platinum. She wanted to know what stone the gray crystals would be if they were real. "What is that stone? What is that stone?" She just kept repeating that over and over until I was biting my cheeks to keep myself from saying something I shouldn't. So instead I kept trying to explain that they are Austrian crystals, which are made in a plethora of colors spanning the spectrum. They aren't supposed to be mimicking a nicer stone such as emeralds or rubies. "But what is that stone? What stone would it be if it was real? What is that stone?"

Why do people ask me questions if they are not going to listen to my answer? And then why keep repeating it?? Were they dropped on their heads as children? What is going on?

Morning Breath

My cat won't get near me before I brush my teeth. He also hates the smell of mint, so then he runs away from me until I've eaten something. I love the little dooder though because he will curl up by my feet until it is safe to get near my face again.

Progressive Radio

I was listening to the new "progressive radio station" here in Chicago yesterday. They have Stephanie Miller, Rachel Maddow, Ed Schultz, Thom Hartmann, Richard Greene, and other notable liberal voices. I was listening to the Thom Hartmann show, and he got to the point where he was taking comments from callers. I didn't hear the beginning of the show, but apparently he made fun of Atheists for saying they "know" there is no god.

So he takes a call from a well spoken guy who wanted to clarify what most Atheists mean when they say "know." The man calmly and rationally explains that Atheists do not believe that god exists because it can't be proven. So when they say "I know god does not exist." They mean that they know that no un-shakable proof has been shown. The existence of god is still just a theory. It is an intangible theory, but there is no actual proof. The guy was nice and just trying to explain to the host where they are coming from. So the host, Mr. Hartmann starts attacking the guy, and basically telling him he is an idiot for not believing in god. He said things like, Well, if you lived before electricity, would you say you KNOW it doesn't exist? The caller said, "yeah. There was no proof at the time of the existence of electricity, so yeah. I'd have said I know there is no electricity." And Mr. Hartmann scoffed and said, 'well you'd have been wrong there too, wouldn't you?'

I was really put off by this exchange. I happen to believe in god, but I also happen to believe that making fun of people for thinking differently than you is wrong. What was Mr. Hartmann trying to achieve? I think it is awfully out of place for a "progressive" station, that is all proud of itself for backing beliefs that go against the tight-assed conservative Rights, to belittle another minority belief.

This might be my favorite SMBC yet.

I don't need medication to give me vivid dreams

I've always been prone to very strange and vivid dreams. And I usually remember them when I wake up. Once in grade school, I was mad at my friend Dafna for a week because I had a dream about her chasing me around school and stabbing me. I once dated a guy who was convinced I should write my dreams down because a lot of them would make good scary movies. Last night I had two versions of the same dream, from two different perspectives. It was about a bomb going off in my neighborhood. By the beach. It was very movie-eske, with a big fight/struggle scene right before the bomb was activated. In the first dream, I knew the bomb was going to go off. I saw the beginning of the fight, and then took off to try to get to a safe place because I knew the bomb would go off if the one side lost the fight. After it did, the air was poison, so I had to get down by the water because the ground is lower there, and there was still some fresh air. Then things continued on from there with me and survivors just trying to survive. In the second dream, I was part of the family that was trying to keep the bomb from going off. Except I didn't actually know who i could trust. Because I knew there was someone in our group who was working with the other side. And once the fight started it was hard to keep track of who was doing what. We knew, that the bomb was going to go off no matter what. We were fighting to do two things. 1) To delay as much as possible to give everyone else the time to get away before the bomb went off. 2) To make sure the people responsible didn't get away in the confusion after the bomb went off. We were as successful as we could have hoped for. And right before the bomb went off we were whisked off to a mountain top a fair distance away where we watched everything go down. It wasn't the weirdest dream I've ever had, but it is the first one where I actually had two different dreams. Where I woke up from one, and then fell back to sleep and had the same dream from another perspective. It was pretty cool, and I can't say I'd mind if I had dreams like that more often.

Just peel it away!

I think it would be neat if people shed their skin like reptiles. But to take it one step further, I think it would be uber neat if we could do it whenever we wanted. Like, if you go to the bathroom, and then realize you ran out of soap. No problem! Just peel off the layer of skin that is dirty and you are good to go!

I freaking love being in a band.

The first tambourine I got didn't really work for me. It was a heavy wooden thing with a drum top and a tiny hole big enough for my thumb to hold it. Also the seam of the band that went around the side was right were my thumb was and it would dig into my hand and caused my hand to swell.

So I bought some new ones. I had meant to only get a few items, but I accidentally bought 10. I meant to put the rest in my saved cart, and somehow didn't notice that they never made it there. In the end, it's cool, because they all have a different sound. So now I have:
1) The original drum top, heavy wood one.
2) a white crescent with a double row.
3) TWO black single row crescents. (I accidentally bought two.*shrug*)
4) A blue full moon that Adam (the guitarist) gave me yesterday.
5) A small white star shaped tambourine that is meant for a child but has a great high sound.
6) A full sized star shaped tambourine that is purple and black striped. It is pretty awesome.

I also bought a few other things:
1) Bells on a stick. Seriously, that is what they are called. And it was a dollar.
2) A wristlet of bells. It was also a dollar. I'm a sucker for a deal.
3) Wood Combination Rhythm Sticks. They are about 8 inches long. One is smooth, and one is grooved. You rub them together and they make neat sounds.
4) Castanets. Plastic and neon green and loud!
5) Maracas. Bright yellow with a wood handle and the loudest freaking things I've ever heard, but smooth too.

Last, but most certainly not least:

6) COWBELL!!! I got a really good one too. It has an awesome pure sound, and it's heavy as hell.

So I'm pretty loaded down at this point. We actually need all the tambourines so I'm not upset about getting them all. First of all, they all have a slightly different sound, so I'll use different ones for different songs. Plus we are working on a song right now where everyone needs to have a tambourine, or hand percussion during the bridge. Oh, and I'm using the cowbell for 70% of it. Hell yeah!!

The only downside is I keep hurting myself. First my left hand was all swollen and sore, and now that I solved that problem (by not using that f**king tambourine anymore) the other hand got jacked up. My right palm is all bruised and sore from practice last night. But that's alright. Keith says I'll eventually build callouses. And I figure, I'm married, so I don't need soft hands anymore. Smiley

Oh Oh!! And we got a drummer last night. His name is Nate, and he is fantastic. And he seems to mesh really well with everyone already so we're really happy.

General update

Things have been hectic lately. Mike is interviewing for new jobs, and I'm trying to get things together for the store.

We just found out about fifteen minutes ago that he didn't get a job he interviewed for a few days ago. It would have been an amazing opportunity for him, but I can't say I'm too surprised he didn't get it. Not because of him or his abilities. But because of his age. He is only 26, and this was for a Director position at a large corporation. Not only that, but it is a new position they are creating so he interviewed with 7 different people and they all had to say yes for him to get the job. Everyone he interviewed with was older than him. I think he would have been perfect for the job, but his age gets in his way a lot of the time. People have a hard time taking him seriously when they know how old he is. He also kind of has a baby face, which doesn't help. It is just so frustrating because he is over qualified most jobs in his field.

As far as my store is concerned, I've decided to close the physical location of Kayla's Blessing. We are keeping the website open, and expanding it. I'll explain later more about that.

The store front will be closing about February. We'll see how the closing sale goes. If we sell out of everything we want to early, we'll close earlier. If not, we might stay open a little longer. Our lease is up at the end of March, and I don't want to be rushing to get out of here two weeks before. Next week starts the sale. Everything is going on sale, and will remain on sale until it's gone. There are some things I'm taking home, and not putting on sale. Some things that are on the website and what not. But really, there is going to be a crap load of stuff going on sale. And we'll keep reducing the prices until everything is gone.

In a sense, this makes me sad. I worked so hard to plan, build, design and maintain the store. It has been my life for so long, and it's hard to move away from that. But there are too many reasons to move to a web only store.

1. The economy sucks. Our sales have dropped as people have become increasingly more afraid of what is going to happen. We don't sell necessities, so we are one of the first places to suffer. The first big change in sales I noticed was right after the new Chicago sales tax went into effect July 1st. It went from 9.25% to 10.25%. People freaked and bought less because they were spending more. And since then it has only gotten worse. Businesses are closing left and right. I believe this is the right choice for us because it enables us to still operate, just with a different focus. For the past 3 1/2 years, the physical store has been our focus, and now our website will be.


2. This stupid chronic pain issue makes it hard for me to stand for long periods of time. And when I'm in a lot of pain it's hard to smile and be cheerful with customers. Also, stress triggers pain immediately, and working what amount to two full time jobs (maintaining the physical store, and the online store) is bad news. Additionally, two of the medications I'm on for this issue make me super duper sleepy. I actually have to nap or I pass out early, and I can't get as much work done as I used to.

3. We'd really like to have babies (yes, multiple) and it's impossible when we both HAVE to work so much.

4. We'd like to buy a house, and it is impossible to get a mortgage with we both own our own businesses. Trust me, we've tried. We were told that even if one of us held a part time position somewhere else we'd be in a much better place. So I'm going to look for something part time.

5. It allows us to participate in high profit trips to other cities. We have been invited to several communities in other states, to bring our more popular products that are hard to find in small communities and set up in a synagogue or school. It's great because they do the advertising for you, they make all the arrangements. You just show up and sell your stuff. And then afterward you give a small percentage as a donation to the school, or synagogue that put you up. We've never been able to do these before because we just don't have the manpower to keep the store open, AND do something like that. But now we can. And we are talking big bucks. In just a few hours we can clean up. The plan is to schedule several trips at the beginning of certain seasons, and do a bunch of traveling all at one time, as opposed to traveling all year round.

I'm excited by the new opportunities we are going to be exposed to as a result of this change.

Earlier I had mentioned expanding the website. I mean a few things by this.
1. We are going to build a new website. Right now we are using Wordpress to run the website. It is essentially an expanded template. By building one of our own, we will be able to do more, we won't be restricted by the boundaries set by the template. The face may stay the same, but I think I want to freshen it up a bit.

2. We are actually going to build two websites. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and a lot of research, and I've decided to also start a "vegetarian" clothing & accessories website. What this means, is items that are not made with any animal byproducts. I'm staying away from "Vegan" clothes because those essentially have to be all organic cotton, and 100% natural fibers, where vegetarian clothes can include man-made fibers. I want to still stay in the same general price range, and that would be impossible if I went the vegan route.

For the most part, the two sites will carry the same merchandise. But making this separation exposes me to a much larger market, and makes it much easier to advertise (it's not easy to advertise [cost-effectively] modest clothes on the web.) This is the fastest growing trend in America, and I fully intend on capitalizing on it. Just like I saw a need for cute, AFFORDABLE, modest clothes when I opened KBI, I see the same need in this market.
This also allows me to buy a larger range of clothes, which I'm excited about. Obviously the clothes on the veg site won't be all modest, and I'm excited about dealing with a different type of clothing.


So all in all, I'm excited. I know this is the right thing to do, and at the right time. The overhead in the store is nuts. Our rent is high and gets raised every year. Employees are a huge cost. Bills are too high. It costs way too much to heat and cool this gosh darn place. Internet, phone... Plus all the "little" thing that add up to a huge cost. Office supplies. Toilet paper, garbage bags... It can get nuts. Like I said businesses are closing all over the place. I'm glad we found a way to shift the focus of the business, and still stay in operation.

I am sad though, that I won't have as many crazy customer stories.

Four Word Movie Review

Henry Poole Is Here

Luke Wilson (the yummier of the two bros, in my opinion)
George Lopez
Cheryl Hines

Mistakenly Labeled As Comedy


Really, it is a good movie. But comedy, it is not. Mike found out today that his father's best friend died, and he is understandably upset. So we wanted to put on a comedy. Instead we got a movie about a dying guy.

Baby Lobster

This makes me want babies so bad. So I can dress them up like little lobsters. And when they spit up I'll just tell people it's butter.

We like gadgets

It just occurred to me, that we've bought a crap-load of electronic stuff in the past week. So far this is our count:

1 counter top dishwasher
1 TomTom 730
1 Juicer (with all my new food restrictions we decided it would be a good idea.)
1 GT Pro (a crazy wheel so Mike can have a more realistic experience playing Grand Turismo)

We also got a bunch of new games for the Playstation and Wii. I got The Price Is Right. It is so freaking awesome.

You'd never guess our country is in an economic crisis by looking at our spending habits. We are going to have to cut it out if we want to still have a place to live in a year.

Yay Dishwashers!!!

I just purchased a counter top dishwasher!!! OMG I am so freaking excited about it.

I head about them a few weeks ago when Stacy bought hers, and was instantly interested. But I was sure I couldn't get one because my landlord watches the water bill like a hawk. But... I did some research, and it turns out that most new dishwashers use less water than doing dishes by hand. So I did a little bit more research and found a model that I think will be perfect for Mike and I.

I'm so freaking excited.

The Verdict Is In!!

I'm finally done with Jury duty.

The sucky thing is that I spent 8 1/2 days there, and didn't even get to stick around for the deliberations. Our case ran longer than it was supposed to. I blame the Plaintiff's lawyer. She was slow, she paused for way too long in between questions, and she would ask the same question a bunch of times over. Even the judge seemed annoyed with her. Anyhow, due to Rosh Hashanah starting Monday evening, I had to be excused. I was excused at 4pm Monday. I got to sit through the closing arguments, and then the Judge explaining the law, and what exactly we were supposed to be deciding on.

I was told by my buddy on the jury that they deliberated for 1 1/2 hours. And that was only because of the one lady I knew would be a problem from the beginning. Otherwise they would have been out of there much quicker than that. I'm happy to know that they came to the right decisions.

The case was a civil lawsuit. Antonio Vernon, a former Finance PhD student at the University of Chicago was suing the university, and the former head of the PhD program, Milton Harris for breech of contract. He maintains that Dean Harris was "Out to get him" and set him up to fail.

It all started in 2000 when Vernon was accepted into the PhD program. He had been attending Wash U for his Phd, and was three years into their program when he was recruited into the U of C program. Wash U gave him a Masters in Statistics so he wouldn't feel like he wasted the past three years. Tony left Wash U for two reasons. Wash U is only a top 30 school, while U of C is a top three school. Also because U of C was offering him a grant call the G.E. Fund, Faculty for the Future. It is a fund set up to bring minority students into PhD programs. U of C got $125,000 to recruit two students. It paid for tuition and a yearly stipend for the first three years (of a five year program. the university agreed to pay tuition and stipend for the remaining two years.) It also provided a huge amount of money for tutoring, and they got mentoring. Tony knew this was a great deal and moved to Chicago.

He started off on the wrong foot with the administration by handing Dean Harris (who will from here on out be referred to as Milt) a long "wishlist" of things we wanted from the school. Money for this, money for that, money money money. Oh, and he wanted more money for his stipend. All PhD students get a stipend. $15,000 for the first year, and $10,000 for each year after that. Tony was getting $20,000 for the first year, and $15,000 for each year after. So he was already getting $5,000 more a year than everyone else. But it wasn't enough for him. So he fought and fought with the Admin until they gave him an additional $2500 per year.

A year later, he caused trouble again. Students are encouraged to write a paper at the end of Year One. It isn't graded, but it helps the students, and the teachers see where they are as far as their research skills. Tony decides to write his, but picks a topic he needs to buy data for. Of course he thinks the school should buy the Data Set for him. He is told that it isn't in the budget, but he keeps pushing. He basically goes to everyone in the PhD program trying to get them to buy this data for him. Finally he decides the money can come out of the GE Fund (as if that is his decision to make.) He is told that if he wants the money come from the GE Fund, he has to give something up. He doesn't grasp the concept that if you take money from one place it isn't there anymore. He argues with them, until he ACTUALLY contacts someone at G.E. He essentially tells them that the university is keeping "his" money away from him. The person at GE is pissed that he was contacted by a student. Tony eventually gets his Data Set, but it comes out of his tutoring money. It turns out Tony never bothered to do the preliminary research needed to find out whether or not he actually NEEDED the data. So that whole time he was just fighting and fighting for no reason.

Tony is an interesting guy. He was in his mid to late 30's when he was enrolled at U of C. Not married. Really into Martial Arts. He was a fifth level black belt in Ti Kwan Do. He calls himself "Chicago's premier leading expert in non projectile weapons." Such as, nunchucks, butterfly knives, and bow staffs. As he said "Like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." Ha. Oh, I must not forget to tell you that he gave himself the most amazing nickname. "The Jackie Chan Of Chicago." For real. No one else calls him that. The Defense made him admit it on the stand and I'm endlessly amused by that. So anyway, the guy has an inflated ego and he loves to give demonstrations to girls.

Year Two, Tony whips out his Butterfly Knife (which he carries on him at all times) three different times. Once at a PhD social event 'Brats and Brew' once in the computer lab, and once in the middle of his Asset Pricing class.

This is Mr. Brilliant's explanation of what happened...(I am loosely quoting since I wasn't allowed to take my notes home with me.)
"I am right handed, and I had a band-aid on my right index finger that was impeding my writing. So I took out my B_K (butterfly knife) and cut off the band-aid under my desk."

Another student saw this, and sent him an email after class letting him know that people in polite society do not whip out knives in public, and he can get kicked out of school if an administrator sees him doing it. Tony's response is "I do not care who I offend with my weapons."

So the student goes to the Dean of Students (Christine Gramhoffer) and complains. Christine contacts Milt to make him aware of the situation. She tells him he needs to have a meeting with Tony, take the B_K from him, and hold a disciplinary hearing. Milt has the meeting with Tony, where tony gives up his knife, and Milt decides no disciplinary hearing is needed. He tells Tony that his B_K is not allowed on campus.

This is when the shit-storm begins. Tony starts contacting campus police EVERYDAY wanting them to give him a "good" reason why he cannot carry his B_K. They are legal in Illinois and therefore he cannot grasp why the fuck they would not be legal on a collage campus. He will not accept that University law supersedes Illinois law. He begins contacting every single dean in the PhD program. He feels that his "rights as a US citizen, and as an Illinois citizen" have been torn from him.

At some point during this, he is told by Grace Chan (Dean of student affairs) that he can carry an army knife, because it is a tool. She is the one in charge of the student manual, so she is the only one authorized to tell him this. Tony researches and finds out that there are 500 different types. He starts sending emails to all the deans again asking for clarification. Specifically, he wants a comprehensive list of all knives acceptable on campus. This is right after 9/11 keep in mind. He is told time and time again that the University cannot write that list, but take knives on a case by case basis. Meaning, if he would email Grace Chan with a examples she could tell him which one is ok before he buys it. But no.... that is not acceptable. He goes back and forth between flipping out about them not letting him carry his B_K, and them not giving him one list with all the knives acceptable. He starts sending out insane emails. He sends one to Milt and Roberta Bernstein (Milt's assistant, and the Dean of something or other) after they clarify that none of his Martial Arts Weapons are allowed on campus saying that his B_K is not a dangerous weapon, He is in fact scared of Grandmothers "Wielding" knitting needles, and workers using box cutters to open boxes. He calls Milt and Roberta racist and a slew of other names. He sends another one informing them that they are discriminating against one handed people by not allowing the only one handed knife legal in Illinois. He sends yet another complaining that there are fifteen martial arts clubs on campus, and are they not allowed to have martial arts weapons? -the response he got to that email was that all students are expected to follow the handbook rules. Including members of clubs, who are not allowed to take the weapons out of the buildins they practice in.-

My favorite: He ACTUALLY contacts the office of Sen. Bob Dole to inform him that the University is discriminating against one handed people. LOL. Bob Dole! Because he only has one hand! LOL!!!

He sends a few letters to the President of the University, even after being told that he should not. He was sent multiple letters warning him that he is harassing the administration, and he will have a disciplinary charges brought against him if he does not cut it out. He is told he is not allowed to contact a whole list of people, or he will be in trouble. The president of the University's name was not on the list, so he sends him another letter. He tells him that he has contacted Bob Dole, he tells him that Milt and the rest of the PhD admin are (essentially) pieces of crap, and if he upholds their decisions, then He (Tony) will have a big problem with his (the president's) office as well. That letter was forwarded to Milt, with the president's instructions to start a Disciplinary Hearing process.

Milt still is hoping that Tony will just cut it out, so so asks one of the Deans, Dean Snyder to talk to Tony. Tony and Snyder had a previous relationship at another collage, so Milt is hoping Snyder can talk some sense into Tony. During the meeting Dean Snyder asks Tony if they could have one last meeting with Milt, Roberta, Grace Chan and a few of the other Deans Tony has been sending insane emails to. He wants everyone to sit in one room and talk things out with Tony. Tony says no. At THAT point, Milt drafts the charge letter.
Between that time and the actual hearing date things get even weirder. Tony ignores the dates the give him (he had one week to respond to the charges, he took over three.) Tony sends them back, not a response but COUNTER-CHARGES. 8 pages of counter charges. The man is seriously off his rocker. He demands that he charges are responded to. The charges range from Milt and Roberta being Racist, to the University violating Illinois law, to Milt and the President of the University being in a "pissing contest". He also suggests that he carry a Trainer B_K, since a trainer has a duller blade. He completely ignores the charges (inappropriate communications and conduct with University admin) and continues to plow ahead with his mouth-diarrhea. He refuses to understand that the charges have NOTHING to do with him whipping out his B_K IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS, or other places on campus.

The day of the hearing he brings in a bow staff, two butterfly knives, and two butterfly knife trainers. He proceeds to give them a presentation of his skills. Like that would make a fucking difference.
The Hearing Board consists of two PhD faculty, and two PhD students. Milt is there as the head of the PhD, and another Dean, John Huizinga (who is Milt's boss) is leading the hearing.

Tony is asked if he understands the charges, and he responds that he understood it was about him harassing people, but now there are other "false charges." He is asked what he would do if the hearing board demands he stop contacting faculty about the knives. Tony responds that he would have to stop, but he would be forced to "bring someone else in to fight for him."
The board recommends he seeks counseling. They also suspend him for one and a half quarters. They were currently in the summer quarter, and Tony wasn't taking classes, so essentially they only suspended him for one quarter.

Tony of course appeals. The appeal board upholds the decision, and Tony hires a lawyer. He starts a discrimination suit and a few other bogus charges.

He is still going to classes mind you. He fails a few classes, and writes an abysmal pre-dissertation paper. Normally if a student writes a bad pre-dissertation paper they are kicked out of the program. Tony is allowed to continue for another year, regardless of his poor grades and terrible paper. He finally gets excused from the program when he continues to fail core classes he is required to get A or B in.

He drops the stupid lawsuits, and sues the university for Breech of Contract and Professor Milton Harris for tortuous breech of contract.
It's all crap, and I am beyond happy that the rest of the Jury thought so too. Milt didn't do anything wrong. If anything he went well well well out of his way, and bent over backwards for Tony. Tony is just an ungrateful shit. He is a grown ass adult who is selfish and expects everything in the world without working for it, or deserving it.

Tony's lawyer sucked too. She looked like a female version of Jack Nicholson's Joker with no makeup on. She dressed horribly. Worst yet, she seemed to know that they didn't have a case so she wasted everyone time going back and forth with her questioning. She clearly tried to confuse the jury and twist very linear things into knots. She tried to bring internal memos into public status (there was a memo from Roberta to Milt with Tony's charges phrased a little differently and she tried to convince us that they have "tricked" Tony by sending him a slightly different wording.) She was disorganized, she didn't know her case or the exhibits (of which there were almost 200) she asked questions that did not make any sense whatsoever. She did however, do an excellent job of proving the Defense's case for them. Every time she was done with a witness (who she had on the stand for two days) they would only have to ask maybe twenty minutes of questions before resting with that witness. She tried to trick the court into allowing exhibits that had no bearing, or simply should not have been admitted. She tried to get Tony's pre-dissertation paper admitted even though the defense had never seen it. Also, it was dated almost a year after he handed it in, which means it was probably edited. Oh, speaking of that, Tony's response to his paper not being accepted was to say, "The people who read my paper simply do not contain the knowledge or intelligence to understand my paper." Seriously. Even though his paper was graded by one PhD student, and TWO professors. Including one who is an expert in the field Tony based his research off of. lol. He is such a delusional fuck.

So to recap.

Tony is a moron who's case REALLY never should have made it as far as it did. He is an angry and argumentative man.

Tony's lawyer knew she had no case. She wasted everyone's time, and is a scary looking lady.

Milt seems like a seriously nice man who got pulled into a confusing and bad lawsuit. Milt also wore the cutest tweed jackets that scream "I'm a professor!" I have to admit I have a huge platonic old man crush on him.

Milt's (and the University's)lawyers rocked. They were on their game, they knew their facts, and they didn't try to play us like idiots like Tony's lawyer. They also didn't waste our time.

Oh, and just one thing I forgot, Tony's lawyer TOTALLY lied in her closing arguments about something that was well documented. *L* Stupid lady.

More Jury Notes

Today the Plaintiff was wearing a light olive suit, yellow shirt, and a navy and kelly green striped tie.

If I were allowed to talk to him, I'd ask if he was color blind.

His lawyer wasn't much better in her yucky drab gray shapeless skirt suit and equally drab gray plaid shirt. Although her co-council was in a quite sexy black suit. I could see all the way up her skirt when she sat down.

Jury Doody

I had jury duty last Wednesday and got picked to be on the jury for a civil case. A guy is suing the University of Chicago for... well I'm not really sure what. Specifically he is suing his professor and mentor in his Phd program. Like I said, I'm not really sure what he is suing for exactly. I'm not supposed to talk about it anyway, but in a week when it is over, I plan on talking all about it. Yeah that's right. The case started this past Thursday, and is slotted to end next Friday. Boo-rific.

The lawyer for the prosecution looks like Jack Nicholson's 'Joker' with no makeup on. Which would be awesome except it is a woman. So instead it is just really freaking freaky.

And despite my refusal to poop in public places I had to go at the courthouse the other day. Which I was so grossed out about until my friend John pointed out that I took a Jury-Doody. HA!

More Doctory Goodness

Had another appointment with Dr. J this morning. This are going good. The pain is more manageable. Of course I haven't been doing anything to aggravate it. I haven't worked out in a couple months so I gained a few pounds and feel gross. But I've been vigilant about the horrific diet, and I guess that combined with the mass amount of drugs they've got me on is starting to work. He placed me on an additional med today. It will also make me tired. Which is a joke because I'm already on two others that do that. I'm a walking zombie. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do. They drug me up, and take away my caffeine, and expect me to function like a normal human being. Asses.

Dr. J also told me I can't get pregnant for at least 4-6 months. While I'm on the blood thinner it can be dangerous I guess. But he's not sure how long I'll need to be on it. Which is sad for me. I really wanted to have my first baby before I was 30, but it might not work out that way now.

All in all I'm kinda bummed today. I really shouldn't be. I'm in so much less pain now than I was even five weeks ago. And while I'm thrilled about that, I'm really just too tired to feel anything more than exhaustion. I'm kinda terrified to go on another drug that will make me even more tired.

Wedding Aftermath

Nicole's wedding was last Sunday, and I'm somehow still exhausted from it. Thank god everything went off without a hitch. Or too bad of a hitch... Nick forgot the CD with the walk down music, so at the very last second we improvised. The Reverend John played his guitar. Which I must say, I thought was much better than "canned music" anyhow. But yeah, everything was beautiful. Nicole was radiant. I did her hair and makeup, and I'm happy to say I did a fucking awesome job. She looked amazing. Definitely better than she ever had before. It was a great day and everyone went home tired and happy.

I'll post pictures when I regain my strength and energy.

Now we are focusing on the fact that Nicole is having her gallbladder taken out on Tuesday. Not pretty newlywed stuff.

Computer Fun

Mike's laptop I was borrowing crapped out on me the other night, so obviously I had to get a new one.

Can I just say how irritating it is buying a new laptop. It's at least a grand you didn't want to spend, but it's a necessity because otherwise you have to stay at work 18 hours a day to do work.

I ended up with a macbook. It's my first Apple in about... 20 years? It's alright so far, but I'm still going to install Vista on here because two of the three programs I need for work don't run on OSX. My major complaint right now is that the edge keeps digging into my wrists so I look like I fail at suicide.

I made sure to get the three year extended warranty because apparently I eat laptops or something. Or maybe I'm electric and short them out. Either way my laptops keep breaking about one a year, which is not OK.

I hate weddings right now...

...really, I do. I think I love weddings, but then I have 9 in a summer and by the time we are 25% in, I hate them. The uncomfortable shoes, the bad food, the silly dancing, it is all bad. And they all run into one another.

The last one I'm standing up in is this upcoming Sunday. And holy crap will I be excited when it is OVER. I love my friend who is getting married like a sister. I am just so tired, and so stressed out. It is super stressful to be the Maid Of Honor! If anything goes wrong it is your fault. Not that anything has gone wrong yet, but I'm nervous because this is a completely DIY wedding. And communication has been lacking between parties.

Her Bachelorette party was this past weekend. It ended up being a combined party with her future hubby and his friends because that is what they wanted, but they got a lot of grief from people about it. Seriously? What the fuck for? It is THEIR party, not yours. So get over yourself. They (hopefully)will only get married once, and this is what they want. It's not like they asked everyone to pay for a trip to the Hamptons for the weekend, like other people I know. They just wanted a party at their house, followed by arcade games and booze at Dave & Busters, followed by a bar they like, followed by late night breakfast foods. Who cares if boys and girls are together? Grow the fuck up and save your comments. Brides and Grooms are so freaking stressed before their weddings. Bachelor & Bachelorette parties are supposed to be an escape from the stress for one night. Who are you to give them a hard time and pile on the stress? Grrr...
Ok. I think I'm done bitching now...

Gov. Huckabee stand on Israel.

"The question shouldn't be 'Do Arabs have a right to live in Jewish territory,'" said Gov. (Mike) Huckabee, "but, 'Do Jews have a right to live in Jewish territory?'"

"To say that Jews can't live in Jerusalem is the equivalent of telling the Boston Red Sox they can't play in Fenway Park. Obviously, that would never go over very well on Beacon Hill." -Arutz Sheva 8.19.08

It's a Mouthful

Tonight is one for the books. I just took four pills. All doctor prescribed medication, of course.
I hate taking medicine. My body hates ingesting medicine. I think that is the worst part about this whole thing. I looked at the pills in my hand. They were all different shapes and colors and sizes, and I felt like my dad, who takes about 30 different medications. Or my grandfather, who used to put all of his medicine in a little paper bathroom cup and swallow them all at the same time. He must have been swallowing at least 12 pills at a time. I know there is a big difference between 4 and 12, but I'm a little bummed right now all the same. I really hate the thought of knowing I'm going to have to take this shit for the rest of my life.

Soap Logs??

The most disgusting thing I've heard of today is a Patchoulli soap log. They are these big bricks of yucky smelling soap. I don't understand it myself. Why bother washing yourself if you are just going to make yourself smell like dirt and B.O. again?

Crocs

I don't understand the appeal. Yeah yeah I know. They are really comfortable. But they are soooooo ugly. I saw them before most people did when the company was first pimping them out at the apparel trade show called Magic that I go to in Vegas twice a year. I was there with my cousin and the two of us could not believe ours eyes when we saw them. They are smelly rubber shoes that look like something a smurf pooped out.

Have some respect for yourself. If you have to wear unattractive shoes for comfort, then go for flip-flops. They at least don't look like your feet are being eaten by a parasitic fungus monster.

Just to be clear

I don't really hate my customers. Not the grand majority of them. Most of my customers are wonderful, nice, pleasant, or at least tolerable.

As for the rest of them...well...Decades ago, Mr. Marshall Field said, "The customer is always right." He didn't mean what most people think he did, but ever since then every person in customer service has paid dearly for him saying that.

I really still hate my customers. #2465659001

So, update!

Just had another annoying stupid customer comment.

I offered to put away the mass amount of clothes these girls had tried on. The mom was going to put them away herself, which is nice, but the clothes were in no way put on the hangers properly. So I told her I'd be happy to put the things away. She asked if I was sure, and I said of course. She handed me two items and said she knew where the rest went. I told her that, really, I'd be happy to put them away. She hesitated, so I added that I would button and rearrange things on the hangers. So she looks me dead in the face and says,
"Why? So it will be harder for people to try them on?"

No. No dumbass. So that my store doesn't look like a shitty mess. How about that?

I still hate my customers # 284,757,300

So this lady was just in. She is a regular, and is always asking me the strangest questions. She is also the type of shopper who assumes that if something doesn't fit, then it is made wrong. She had on a top in the x-small and it looked great. Then she tried it on in the small, and it was too big. Instead of saying to herself, "hm, the x-small fit me perfectly, so obviously a bigger size will be bigger, and therefore too big on me." she says to me, "Look at how big this is on me! There must be something wrong with it!" ?? ?? ?? what?? ?? ?? So I smile and said, "It is pretty big on you. Good thing the x-small looked so good on you." But inside my head I was explaining to her why she is an idiot.

Itchy in, um, places?

You know when you remove hair from a certain area and then it starts growing back in? And it's all itchy and making you crazy? And you are standing in the middle of Pier 1 thinking you are going to go crazy because you can't scratch without getting kicked out for inappropriate behavior? And you are scared everyone in the store is going to think you are suffering from an unfortunate std?

There is a first for everything

I apparently just insulted a customer. She left all upset, practically pulling her daughter's arm out of her socket. She didn't tell me what I had said to upset her. She also didn't tell me she was upset. She told her daughter while right in front of me, which is terribly passive aggressive. I tried to apologize, I tried to tell her that if something I said upset her then it came out wrong, I tried to assure her that I meant no disrespect. Not because I cared about making the sale. But because I meant every word. I'm still not sure what I said, but whatever it was, she took it wrong. For the record, she came in an immediately started being argumentative. It is really annoying when people tell you to show them something, and then argue with you about everything you pull down for them. Like her for example. She wanted a shirt for her daughter that was casual. That was all she said. "Can you show me something long sleeve or 3/4 sleeve that is casual." And so I did. The first thing I directed her to was a 3/4 sleeve cotton basic shirt that we have in 9 colors and everyone loves. That is typically a good starting point because I don't have to worry about style preferences because it's a basic shirt with nothing on it. She didn't like it because it was too heavy. ?? Ok lady. It's a cotton t-shirt. You don't get much lighter than that without it being see-thru, which I have a feeling wasn't the look she was going for, for her daughter who looked about 9. But alright. I showed her a few other things, and she found faults with them. Half the things she literally ignored as I tried to show her. While I was in the middle of saying something, she interrupted me with, "Well how about skirts then?" oook. So I show her some skirts. The first one she ignores. The second one she likes. Her daughter tries it on, and it looks really nice. Then the daughter asks if she can get a denim skirt. So she replied that the daughter can look, but she probably won't like any of them. The girl pulls one out and the mom says it will be too short. I piped in that it probably would be long enough for her because the girl only comes to my chest, and that skirt is long enough for me. I was just trying to help, you understand. It can be hard to eyeball lengths sometimes. I can't tell you how many times someone has said "that will be too short" and then I hold it up to myself and they see how long it really is. Anyhow. Then the mom pulls out another skirt that is longer. I tried helping her out with the size, and I think that is when she got annoyed. In general I didn't think the skirt would work for her daughter because she still has a little girls body, and that skirt was made for someone with hips. It would have all this extra room in the hip area and look silly. So I was trying to guide her toward the size that would work best. She argued with me. I'm not about to argue with a customer so I said, "Ok, well she can always try on another size if the first one doesn't work." I said it with a lighthearted tone. I'm thinking she took that to mean that obviously she would be wrong or something. About five minutes later she told her daughter to change and that she felt disrespected. I immediately started telling her I was sorry if I'd said something to offend her. I must have apologized 15 different ways, but she would barely look at me. But whatever. I can't stress on every customer that comes in with an attitude. This is retail. At least 50% of the people who come in here treat us like crap. So if I've only driven one person to walk out in a huff in over three years I'm still doing OK.

I'm an aunt x 3

My sister in law had a healthy baby boy yesterday! Yay! I love being an aunt!

Excuse me if I bite your head off

The medication I'm on makes me depressed and irritable. It also drains me of energy. Or maybe that is from not being able to eat anything. Either way, I've been less than chipper these past few weeks.

Celebrity Family Feud

I have this show on in the background as I'm working right now. However, it is so mind-numbingly dumb, that I'm totally distracted/horrified/enthralled. Damn you Vivica A Fox and your dumb as nails family!

(Although I totally keep laughing out loud every time Viv gets something right. She starts hamming it up for the camera [because lets face it, it's most quality camera time she's getting these days] and her mom tries to high five her, and stops short of smacking her daughter in the face because Vivvy isn't paying attention.)

But I love food!

I'm a gosh darn good cook, but I'm totally at a loss about how to cook with these restrictions. I've spent this past week being completely frustrated every time I have to eat. Everything tastes like crappy bland nothing. I'm already tired of things I never thought I could be. Garlic, and meat. because I feel like that is all I've been eating.

On the bright side...

My folks said they would pay for me to see a dietitian. Hopefully he/she will be able to help me find some foods that won't hurt me, and don't taste like sand.

Also...I was talking to my mom about using Jenny and Steve's Wii fit, and she must feel really bad for me, because she said she would get us one! Yay!

Pro-Life Customers

I just had a phone conversation with a woman who was ordering a skirt from Michigan. She was super nice with a cheerful, pleasant, upbeat voice. We were having a wonderful conversation until she mentioned that she works for a pro-life organization, and plans "Pure" fashion shows. It seems that the pro-life movement has moved passed abstinence, and into modest dress as well. It works for my business, because hopefully I can contact some pro-life organizations to list my site on theirs. But honestly it makes my skin crawl. I spent the whole conversation acting like I thought what she was saying was fantastic, but my insides were turning.
I feel really torn. She mentioned something about having my clothes in their next fashion show. It would be good exposure in an area we haven't really infiltrated yet. And there will be hundreds of people there. But I am extremely pro-choice. I don't want to get into discussing the issue, because I could debate it for hours. But I'm kind of disgusted with myself that I'm willing to put aside my issues to make money.

Gosh darn bladder!

News on the health front.

I had another appointment today. It ended up being an all day visit to the doctor's office.

The new theory, is I have a condition where the bladder doesn't build enough of a lining, and it causes intense pain in the abdomen. It is a chronic condition, but it is manageable with diet changes and medication.

So I'm going to try out a new medication and see how it goes. It's a little crazy because I take four pills a day. Also, I've got to severely change my diet. They gave me a list of things I can and cannot eat and it is ridiculous. I can barely eat anything. I can't drink alcohol, which will suck big time. I can't eat soy, which is something I eat a ton of everyday. I can eat three fruits. Blueberries, Pears, and Watermelon. No tomatoes. No eggs. No onions. No fake sugar. No coffee. No tea. No pop. No chocolate. No prepared meats (like deli meats.) No artificial ingredients or colors. No Preservatives! So I basically can't eat anything prepackaged. The list goes on an on. Basically, we are trying to cut Potassium out of my diet entirely because it exacerbates the situation.

It isn't a guarantee that this is what is wrong with me, but we are going to act like it is, and treat me for it, and hopefully that will be it. Because it is impossible to give a guaranteed diagnosis without expensive surgery. But he did give me a test this afternoon (which by the way was uber sucky and painful) which made him very confident this is my problem.

So... I say this is good news because it feels good to have SOME answers.

In other family health news, my dad is starting dialysis tomorrow. He'll be on it three days a week from now on. His kidneys are done. I saw him yesterday and was shocked by what I saw. He is extremely jaundiced. Much more so than when I saw him not two weeks ago. But I think this is sort of good news too. We knew this was coming. Now we don't have to keep worrying about when it is going to happen. It is happening. And it doesn't mean his life has to change that much. At least for now, he is still going to work.

I'm in a fight with water

Yesterday I bought two bottles of water called Metro-Mint, in spearmint water flavor. The only ingredients are:
Purified Water
Mint

I drank one bottle last night, and immediately started sweating. It was hot outside, and I was being fairly active around the apartment so I thought, "it can't be the water."

I just finished drinking the second bottle a half hour ago, and I literally have sweat dripping down my face, and all down my body. What's up? Since when does mint make me a sweaty mess? The funny thing, is this water claims to do the opposite!
"Take one sip and experience the Chill Factor: The cooling sensation you can only get with Metromint. The real mint naturally stimulates the nerves, instantly opening your senses to send a fresh, cool feeling throughout your body."
I feel exactly the opposite of that claim. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I'm going to go drink some tap water.

Pop Culture Event? Really?

Every year, Wizard World comes to Chicago. Wizard World, otherwise known as the Comic-Con, otherwise known as the most exciting three day event for nerds and geeks everywhere.

I am unashamed to say I have gone a bunch of times. I buy independent art, and comics. I'd try to win free stuff by answering trivia. I once bought a pair of panties that look like an old school Nintendo controller. They were my favorite pair until the washing machine ate them. People spend months making costumes to wear to the comic-con. I never did that, but I have happily posed for pictures with a few of those guys. I once commissioned an artist to paint me an original picture of Wolverine. I am a big fan of geeking out for a day or two every year. I also enjoy being the hottest not-fat, yet not-dressed-like-a-whore chick there, but that is besides the point.

Without a doubt, it is a nerd convention.

So imagine my surprise when I hear a radio commercial for "Wizard World! The largest Pop Culture Event in the Midwest!"

Pop Culture Event, huh? Who are you trying to attract, exactly? The Frat boys that spent their lives beating up and ridiculing your bread and butter crowd? Seriously, I know people who save up for months so they can afford to buy a ton of toys and stuff. And when I say "save up" I'm not referring to a few hundred bucks. They blow well over a grand. Sometimes over two grand. They aren't there for a Pop Culture Event. No, No Sir. They're hard earned dollars are there for a good ol' fashioned marathon of geekery and nerdasment.

Not a good day when you see a man get pulled out from under the train

I am still a little shaken up about this. I was coming home from downtown on the 'EL' Red Line. We stopped with just the first two cars into the Wilson stop. The lights go out, which is pretty ordinary. But then the train turns off completely. I'm still all focused on my book, and my music, and what the fuck. It's the EL. Things happen, and it gets held up all the time.

We sit. No word from the conductor. No prerecorded message about workers ahead, or the train being stopped but will be starting momentarily. I'm still engrossed in my book (about the resurgence of modesty) but become distracted by the sounds of many sirens coming, coming, and then not passing us. Then the conductor walks into our car. He looks frazzled and a bit shaken, and says that there has been an "incident" and we all have to make our way up to the front of the train and out onto the platform. We are about 5 or 6 cars back from there.

When I get out onto the platform, and by the front of the train I see a mass of emergency rescue workers. And then I see them pull a man out from under the front of the train. Other workers immediately started making us all get off the platform and onto the street.

It was a pretty horrendous sight and I'm a little sick to my stomach.

I ended up walking a few miles till I got ahold of someone to come and pick me up. I could have caught a variety of buses to get me home, but I needed to walk to try to shake the image out of my head.

People who were on the platform when it happened said the man jumped.

Hellboy II

Just saw the trailer for HellBoy II.

I think I just peed a little.

I'm so excited.

Summer in Chicago means Construction and Weddings.

I just had the longest weekend of my life. It was so long, that it's Thursday night and I'm just recovering from it.

We had TWO weddings. Both out of town. The first was last Thursday in Detroit. I know, right? Ew, Detroit. And I gotta say, for as inexpensive as real estate is down there, I should not have had to pay $276 for ONE NIGHT at a hotel. Not unless that room comes with a complimentary BJ for my husband.

That wedding was fun enough. It was the first time I can remember where my allergies actually came in handy. Normally I go to weddings and all I can eat is bread. But this time I got to eat TWO bowls of soup (one of which was the best split pea soup I have ever had) while everyone else got to eat afterbirth smothered chicken. It was so gross looking that even if I could have eaten it, I would have stuck with the dinner rolls and veggie plate. It was a super dry looking, stuffed chicken breast. Then, cherry pie filling straight from the can (it looks different after it's been cooked, I'm not just guessing) was globbed on top. ---About five years ago I was present at the birth of my good friend Tami's son. It was a powerful experience (powerful=scary and nauseating) that I feel blessed to have shared with her. But there were a few parts that I could have done without. Seeing her in so much pain for so long was not awesome for me. The apesiotomy made my vagina sad to watch. But mostly it was the afterbirth. Because for anyone who doesn't know, afterbirth looks like cherry pie filling with some mucus tossed in for good measure.

Then we had the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner for Mike's sister's wedding. Religious Jews don't do rehearsals, so I'm always amused when I have to attend one. But it usually means you get a good meal and free alcohol afterward, so I'm always happy with that. After dinner everyone went back to the house where Chris (the douche bag brother) continued to prove why Mike and I don't have anything to do with him. I'm not going to get into the sordid details, but lets just say he made a very uncomfortable scene with his father. Twice.

The next day was the wedding, which was held in their backyard. Side note: I've determined the ONLY reason to live in the middle of fucking-nowhere-not-even-a-suburb-because-you-are-so-far-from-anything-
resembling-a-city is the amount of land you can get for a reasonable price. Jen and Steve (and Dad) have like two acres of land. Which is a measurement that barely makes sense to someone who thinks in city terms. Lets just say it is real big. Like a block and a half. And they have a pond! With fish! they go fishing in their own backyard! it is all mind blowing to me. Anyhow, the wedding was beautiful. It rained at one point, but that is why God made tents, so it was fine. The matron of honor from hell gave a speech that was all about her. D-bag brother made an uncomfortable comment to me about his crotch being close to my face as he walked passed me while I was sitting down. The egg donor thought it would be an awesome idea to try to slow dance with Mike. Even though she thought it would be a good idea to ignore me all day regardless of the fact that I was being SUPER nice to her since it was Jenny's wedding day. You know what is a good way to win over my husband? Be rude to his wife. Brilliant decision. We ended up leaving early because (among other reasons) he couldn't take being around them any longer. He literally ran out of the tent when we left.

Oh, and I got into an altercation with the matron-of-honor from hell. I got fed up with her treating the bride and groom like her slaves. I do not like that woman. The only thing that saved her from a black eye was the way she acted once Jenny came back from her hair appointment.

This weekend I have another bachelorette party. The following weekend is another wedding. The 4th of July is another wedding... All told, this summer we have 9 weddings. So far. I'm so freaking tired already.

The Happiest Couple In The World.

For our one year anniversary, our friend Joe put this little video together for us. I think it is absolutely hysterical.

MIC
Uploaded by TheMysteriousX

My Cherry Has Been Popped

Mike and I were in Antioch all weekend and Sunday night I got to have my first tornado experience. There were terrible storms all weekend, and there were several tornado sightings not too too far from Mike's sister's house Saturday night. But we were all cool, and never heard any sirens from the town over. But then last night the weather got nuts again. The skies got dark, the lightening was insanely cool to look at, and the wind was so strong I was having a hard time standing straight. We had the kids play in the basement so they'd be there just in case. Then we heard the sirens going off in the next town over. They have a weather radio thing that just goes off on it's own when it is anything other than sunny and 73, and the thing was freaking out. Beeping and blaring about tornadoes.
At this point, I'm getting a little freaked out. I grew up in Skokie IL. The worst odd weather anomaly we had, was in the 80's there was a flood. But I don't have time to think about it because the kids are getting really scared, and Collin, the youngest one won't stop talking about how we are all in 'great danger' because the tornadoes are coming to get us. So I was trying to get him to calm the fuck down and stop freaking out his sisters. So then I hear the sirens go off a few blocks away. All the adults look at each other and head down. Mike grabbed his computer, lol, because even if tornadoes are coming he has work to do... Being that I've never had to worry about a tornado before I wasn't sure what to grab, so I grabbed my purse that was right there, and a pair of shoes. Not sure why I grabbed the shoes, but whatever. They were right there, so I grabbed them. We all went into the reinforced concrete room, and hung out for a while. Steve had grabbed a bowl of popcorn, and Jenny had grabbed some blankets. So after we got the kids to stop crying we cuddled up in the blankets and munched on popcorn while telling stories. About 45 minutes later the sirens turned off and we came back up stairs. Everything was cool and untouched. Which is really really good because aside from the obvious reasons you wouldn't want a tornado by your house, Jenny and Steve are supposed to be getting married Saturday in their backyard.

So anyway, my tornado cherry has officially been popped.

My Store Is A Toddler!!

Today is my store's THREE year birthday/anniversary! Three years! Man! I feel proud and happy and accomplished! It has been a hard road, but completely worth it. Yay for me!


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So in similar news... Some girls celebrated their friend's birthday in here this morning. Two girls decorated a dressing room and then hid. A little while later the birthday girl, her mom and five other friends came in to go shopping. When it was time for her to try stuff on, I directed her to the dressing room containing her friends, and they exploded out. The poor girl nearly had a heart attack. It was really cute, and I was happy that they wanted to include my store in their celebration! especially since they then obviously went shopping and bought loads of stuff. So yay for birthdays!!

Old Lady Boobies

I have a gripe.

Occasionally an older woman will come into my store and want to try something on. They will stand in the dressing room, but they will not close the curtain. And then they will continue to talk to me, or ask for things so I end up seeing old lady boob. Gross. Sometimes they will be standing in the middle of the store and start taking off their shirts. WTF? Do we, with age, lose our modesty?

And really. Even if YOU (nameless old lady,) are comfortable with your bare (or bra-ed up) torso, I am not. So please, close the curtain. Keep you shirt on in the middle of the store. For my sake.

Dad

My dad has diabetes. He has had diabetes since he was 16. When he was younger the doctors told him he wouldn't live to be 35. He and my mom got married thinking that he would die very young. As it turns out, medical advancements have helped him a great deal and he is still with us. He is still working, he still has all of his limbs, and for the most part, he is very gosh darn healthy. Or so I thought. He called me this morning to tell me that he and my mom are going to help me so I can pay for the medical bills that are beginning to pile up. Which is so super awesome of them, and I really appreciate it. But anyhow, he mentions that he isn't feeling so good. Which is kinda common place really. Aside from the diabetes he inherited what we call the "Freid Stomach" from him mom's side of the family. Which means he has a sensitive stomach that bothers him regardless of what he eats. So he is never feeling 100%. But that isn't what he meant. For a while now his doctors have been trying different things to keep him kidneys from failing. But nothing is working, and he is going to have to go on dialysis. Not tomorrow, but sooner rather than later. Which brings up so many questions. Is he going to be able to keep working? Is he going to be forced into retirement because he won't be able to travel anymore?
He also let me know that his heart isn't doing very good. He is 55. But he has had diabetes since he was 16. Which means the "real age" of his heart is 94 (his real age plus the amount of years he's had diabetes.) 94!! Holy crap. Now here is the thing. As far as I understand it, there isn't anything terribly wrong with his heart. It is just really really old. But what can they do about that? Nothing. He would never qualify for a heart transplant because of his condition.

I know that in reality, I need to be happy that his condition has remained to stable for so long. He has lived twenty years longer than the doctor's had originally thought, and it's not like he got a death sentence. I'm just having a tough time coming to grips with the fact that my dad is not going to live forever. I'm only 27, and I don't want to think about this stuff for a long time.

Whoopsers

On my way to work this morning I passed a pair of men's plaid boxers on the side of the road.
How does one lose one's boxers exactly? Don't you realize they are missing?

Less awesome news today

I just got off the phone with the specialist I've been seeing. I asked for him to call me because I thought the medication he put me on was causing chest pains. But it turns out he doesn't think they are being caused by the medication since I stopped taking it almost a week ago and I'm still having the pains. He said it might be a valve issue. A valve issue? Not cool. What the frick happened to the me who was always so healthy? Now I have mysterious pains that no one an figure out, and I'm being lobbed from one doctor to another. My bank account is crying, and I'm sick of it. Figure out what is wrong with me, and give me medicine and let me feel better! I seriously feel like a crazy person who makes weird ailments to get attention. And oddly, this all leads back to how much I despise Mike's mom, because she does things like that. So I'm almost afraid to tell anyone about whats been going on, lest they think I'm anything like her.

Ech. I don't want to think about this anymore. Today is a wonderful and happy day. I'll think about this shit tomorrow.

So Amazing

Mike is amazing. He is working really hard to make today very very special. At midnight last night he gave me a necklace that matches my engagement ring.

Then a little bit ago, I got a delivery at work. A huge bouquet of roses. A teddy bear. And a bunch of helium balloons: I Love You! - Congratulations! (that one looks like it is meant for a graduation) - Thinking Of You! - Thanks For Everything You Do! - Happy Birthday!
LOL. He told the guy to just put a bunch of random balloons in there. He is so funny. And tonight we are going out for dinner and then hopefully hitting up the late showing of Indiana Jones. So all in all it is a fantastic One Year Anniversary.

Prince is pro-modesty, or anti-whore clothes. Either way he continues to be the coolest guy around.

"See, cursing was cool when nobody was doing it. Or just a couple people. Like, if everybody wears the same clothes, then it's, you know-it ain't cool no more. You're trying to be different. One can't be different by being racy today. It's not interesting anymore. See, sexiness was in the mind. It was in your imagination. When you lose that, then...it's just old skin." -Prince

I couldn't have said it better.

Mike's mom was wrong! We are still married!

Two days from now will be our one year anniversary! Yay! We had a great party last night to celebrate. Yeah, we are those people. The ones who make their family and friends share in their constant happiness all the time. I'm pretty sure we are still doing something just the two of us on Tuesday, but that party was really great. I actually had a conversation with Mike's business partner, which would be the first one we've ever had. Debbie nicely nailed Amber on not actually being a vegan since she eats dairy and wears leather. Leah's future husband showed his general ignorance for life and what makes a decent human being and used the N-word a bunch of times. He also argued that Puerto Ricans are not Americans and that they are taking our jobs (yeah, he really said that.) Unfortunately for him he fails to realize that if "those people" are "stealing" his jobs, then he sucks at life, because he is 30 something and washes dishes, and deserves competition for that job. He later said he can't be a racist because he is marrying a kike. He is a winner. He is also lucky I wasn't in the room when he said all of those things or he would have gotten kicked in the junk and then kicked out of my house. But Leah got to me first and begged me not to do anything. Did I mention they are getting married July 4th? Once again, not many of Mike's friends came. I'm truly confused by them. 90% of them have known him since they were little kids, but they don't make the effort to maintain the friendship. It's dicky. That is not to say that no one came. Josh was out of town, and Steve had some thing today. But Kyle, Dink, Darrin, Q, and nameless city guy with a dog named 'Scout' (AKA Herpes) came. We had a wall pin-up Flamingo that looks like it is giving birth (HOT!) and a ton of other rad-tastic decorations. People who hadn't been over before were amazed by two things. 1)The hugeness of our apartment. 2)The amount of alcohol we have in the house at all times. And I didn't put out any of the wine or champagne. Oh, it was Luau themed which is why we had all the decorations. Joe made a stellar short that was a take on those Most Interesting Man In The World commercials, but it was about me and Mike as the Most Interesting Couple In The World. And he brought the video of New Years 06' where mike is on camera telling the exact way he was planning on proposing. I can't believe a bunch of people heard him and didn't tell me. Not that I am complaining of course. I am just impressed that they kept their mouths shut. After the bulk of the people left a bunch of us sat around drunkenly talking about comic books and watching Top Gear. It was really great.

It is blowing my mind that we've been married a year. So much has happened. All the insanity with his mom that took too much of our time and emotions. I get that she is actually insane. And I get that I will never have the mother-in-law I always assumed I'd have. It is just a shame that on top of her real mental issues, she is mean and spiteful and manipulative and selfish and self serving. She put Mike and his siblings (and the rest of the family) through hell their whole lives. Thank god Mike is done with her and I don't have to kill her for continually hurting him in the future. We've also been dealing with some strange health issues on my end that has been pretty stressful. I'm going to go into the long and annoying details, but the doctor isn't quite sure what is wrong with me, and my insurance sucks. Unsure doctors + bad insurance = lots of painful medical bills. Plus we are constantly dealing with the stress of both of us owning our own companies. Sure it sounds great, but the work is immeasurable, and when you are the owner, you are the last person to get paid. So yeah, our mutual stress level is pretty high. But we are good about not taking it out on each other.

So, not having anything to do with my marriage... I had an article written about me in Oy Chicago Magazine. I thought it was going to be about my store, but no, it was about me. Which is fine. I'm not clamoring for fame, and feel weird about the attention quite honestly. But if it helps the store, then I will give all the interviews magazines want. Unless Jugs comes a-knocking. I might have to turn them down. But yay, this makes two articles in two different publications! Does using the word Publications sound pretentious?

All in all things are good. I'm going to be gross and gooey and say that I love Mike more and more everyday, and he makes me happier than I ever thought possible. I feel amazingly lucky to be married to such a funny, moral, smart, caring, strong person. And everything we've had to deal with has been worth it because it means I get to wake up to him every morning.