Milestones

Two milestone hit today!

1) I woke up with big dark circles under my eyes for the first time in my life. Yay?

2) Joshua found his wiener during his bath! Started tugging on it and smacking it with a big ol' grin on his face. lol. I couldn't stop laughing. Mike was totally horrified.

Joshua

I always wanted to be a mom. But now that I am I am amazed that it happened. Not in a bad way, don't get me wrong. I love my baby and I love the relationship we are developing. But at least 5 times a day I look at him and think, "Holy shit, how the hell am I a mom?" And other times I think, "How did I manage to get such a god damn great kid?" Because he is. We really lucked out and he is a great baby.

I think part of my problem is I am convinced that he wouldn't be here if my dad hadn't died last year. He died suddenly, March 9th 2010. Just a month or so later I was pregnant. It could have happened at any point before then, but it didn't. People kept saying ridiculous things to me like, "Your father helped you get pregnant in heaven." Which aside from being insane is truly creepy. I don't think my dad had anything to do with it. I think I got lazy. But either way, Joshua wouldn't be here if my dad still was. And that is something I am having a hard time getting past.

Thankfully that doesn't change how much I adore him. He is an amazing little bundle of cuteness and wonder.

Hubs

When Mike and I were in Las Vegas this past August we renewed our vows in a super private ceremony. I just found what he said to me and I want to post it in case I lose the paper it is written down on.

"Throughout the hardships in my life, I always wondered why this was happening to me. What was going to happen to me to make it all worth it? What was going to justify the pain...
And then we kissed, and that answer started to become apparent. I was soon to realize it was going to be justified as I was to receive more love then I could ever imagine.
I promise to forever love you, protect you, cherish you, hold you, and dedicate myself to you.
I love you more than you will ever know."

Bo Burnham

Just saw Bo Burnham's comedy central special. Laughed my ass off. That is all.

Fyi: telling me the part you need is "plastic and somewhere by the engine" is not helpful. Not even slightly.

FML

For the second time in two days, a bug just flew up my nose. FML.

A phone conversation I could have lived without

My friend Joshua sent me an email today asking about his ex. We had lost touch of each other and hadn't spoken in about a year or so. His ex passed away from cancer around Thanksgiving time. Joshua didn't know. I had to call him tonight to tell him. I'm still feeling a little shaky.